Oh God, why? Why, God. why? Let’s split this down into why it’s sad:
Kensi, especially back here in early season three, was never sure of her feelings for Deeks, they’ve always been conflicted. So when he gets fired for shooting an unarmed man, she figures “Hey, there’s something here. I’m not sure what, but we don’t have the pressure of being partners getting in the way any more. Let’s maybe see if there can be something more between us than the tension and the flirty banter.” So she goes for it… and he practically shoots her down cold. Hell, he even puts his box o’ stuff in front of him as a shield. And as the scene continues, it’s basically like he’s giving her one heck of a brush off; he’ll call her, that sort of thing. So poor Kensi, who didn’t know where she stood anyway, has gotta be questioning herself, thinking “Well, maybe I misread the signs? Maybe I just imagined the whole thing, and we’re nothing more than just partners.” And when he leaves, she’s still no closer to having a straight answer, which screws with her for the rest of the episode.
Dude. How awkward must that have been. Deeks is a pretty empathetic guy, and he can read Kensi pretty well. And he knows exactly what’s coming. Hell, he even tries to cut her off, hiding behind his box. Because he knows what she’s going to say, and he knows that he can’t let her finish it; he knows the truth, that he’s not fired, and that they’re having to play with Kensi’s reactions to get what they want. He tries, in so many tiny little subtle ways, to not give it away, but when she says “And it’s over now!” he almost breaks. He knows they’re on two vastly different places; she thinks he’s gone for good, while he knows he isn’t. And it hurts him that not only does he have to toy with her emotions to establish his cover, but he needs to close that door firmly. Not only deceive her about his status, but about any feelings he may have too. As hard as it is on her, it’s twice as hard on him, cause he can’t be honest.
1) I love the choice of “hoped” here. They could have gone for any other word - thought, expected. But they didn’t. Kensi HOPED that something might happen.
2) Her face through the whole thing is… ugh. Why? Why, God, why?